1.The guy that makes sure no one dozes off or even sleeps
He always keeps a straight face, like he has been feeding on some suspicious grass or rather terribly toxic caffeine that he keeps intoxicating the vicinity with rather much needed noise that is actually hated by many. Don’t blame it on the nightmares when he sleeps at 4am and he is up by 6am, making more noise. You probably are not the target market, this guy needs his own radio show for those that want to avoid sleeping, he is your caffeine.
He will tell you about karamoja and in the same tone tell you about Yumbe or even Mbarara, it’s like he has traveled the whole Uganda but you can’t be sure because google does exist, but one would wonder if this guy has a home, or not. He has a weathered look that says he has seen it all but he is still hungry for more and more, so he will try it all even pork.
When you travel with many over achievers, your worry is whether the trip will be fun or not, the van is jack of all trades; the fashionista, the blogger, the adman, the traveler, Freelancer and the guy that just wants to talk- yes that guy again. All of a sudden, no one is talking about their jobs but how abseiling was fun and how excuses don’t even earn minimum wage. Nonetheless, life stories are a great addition to the package of travelling with these chaps.
4.The Lone Souls
Taking the front seat, saying nothing much but greeting a sharing a few light moments with the whispers in the back, strolling ahead of others, like a lost sheep but comfortable in their skin. Reserved but out going, the drivers!
5.The Aggressive dudes
Escalating everything and looking at things from different angles with artistic attention to detail. Let’s talk about pounding coffee beans or better yet, let us pound the beans, make coffee and get warm. There is nothing like argot, your mind is lying you!!!
6.The guy with a radio Voice
He loves his beer cold, his conversations fresh and he is the kind of guy who needs 3 horses to drag him into the bathroom. His voice serenades every conversation like a shepherd leading his flock back home, he is the engine that roars life into the whole campaign, a simple out going guy with a radio voice.
Phone close to eyes, updating a few pages or reading mail, the next funny thing is in underway, his brain is divided into multiple interfaces, he is Sparta, he spits fire. Talking about feminism, then business, then the next trip and then something totally unrelated. Remember that godfather that always takes care of everyone and sometimes forgets to take care of himself?- He is that godfather.
8.The Ghanaian and Ghanaian Jollof
He would marry you right away if you can cook Ghanaian jollof, if you can’t he would export you to his mum so that you can learn. He is the 25 year old making a difference kilometres away in Yumbe, but also the guy that loves a good laugh and new ideas, the guy that raids the women, the Karimojong must take notes. With a rather confusing accent, he will try to convince you that had Goliath eaten Ghanaian jollof, he probably would have dodged the stone that sent him face down.
9.The other guy who didn’t abseil
Excuses! excuses! excuses! Man is never supposed to get wet, I fear heights, I have to hold the camera and many more excuses. This guy is a copywriter, he knows little about risk but he can weld any words and use them against you. A giggle or two and he is silent again, not sleeping but watching like an owl, like a pinhole camera, recording-be warned everything you say shall be used against you. The other guy would recommend a plate of Ghanaian jollof, guess who?- the Adman.
10.The guy with a fancy camera and a long lens
“Everyone has taken that, twist your phone a little and be different”, a journalist and a guy with a camera, a very enterprising fella whose photography speaks volumes. Abiding by the rule ‘Ladies first’ walking closely behind, all this just a security measure- Plot twist; he is now a gentleman with a fancy camera.
11.And then there’s me
The kind of person who ends up on a site like Wait But Why, and your travel is far shittier in a rather interesting way. The innocent guy ready to taste Ghanaian jollof and the guy that would later confess his sins twice as the rope was lowered 100 meters besides the Sipi falls, I am that guy and believe me ‘What I have survived might kill you’