Disclaimer: You shall not find relationship advice on here…
When I was a little boy, I was the kind of guy with the right charm but not the suitable gas, I often looked on as some random guy in a class below took my date or my crush. I was a believer in Karma and Karma never disappointed me, he was like that older brother that always got my back. The girls used to go but eventually, they would come back but I was no angel, just a little charmer and stunner who never kept quiet, plus I was good at the most relevant subjects when it comes to teenagers, English and Science.
This attitude didn’t get me anywhere, it left me hurt, shattered, lost and hiding in my own mentally built prisons and closets. I just couldn’t walk up to a girl and express my self, the best I could do was write letters, but letters had gotten Mondo into serious problems at school, he got a public whipping at school but the students praised him for being a romantic, and that’s all he wanted, only that it’s me that had written the letter for Mondo. I fear canes and so I tried to always be on my best behavior, my mzee was the kind that would throw you in her own prison just for being suspended.
I think this situation is one many refer to being shy, so, I often got bullied and stepped on by other students, it really hurt me, I would feel my bones get crashed, I would bite my lip till it bled, I sometimes got so angry that I started to shake like a possessed human, but the fear of the cane always kept me in check.
So one random day, I told gramps all my issues and problems, he intensely listened and he said to me, “You are a strong breed son, keeping all that in your head, heart and veins, you deserve an award. But get out of your prison, be like a cowboy.”
I knew it, he wasn’t going to say anything more, being my father’s son, I had to figure it out. Whatever he meant by be like a cowboy, only thing I knew about cowboys then is that they were the most rigid(In a good way), rough men, the kind that never got stepped on, the kind that never gave up.
I decided to disregard the advice seeing that I wasn’t doing pretty badly, perhaps if I unleashed all that was in my brain, heart, and veins, I would probably unleash hell on earth. No one really wants to know what goes on in the dark corners of my brain.