I am not sad, and neither am I happy. I am in a state of inexplicable feeling and random thoughts keep flooding my brain.
Questions with no direct answers keep pressing on. Many of which I can’t answer without saying “I don’t really know.”
I happen to acquiesce in the fact that life isn’t fair, but many times the question, “Why me” pops up and gaze I do.
I have made crazy decisions that mostly made me than broke me. This is supposed to be read like, I don’t regret anything I ever did.
But then there is this deeper inner guilt that puts my life on life support every once in a while. I am only human you know.
And I wonder if all the decisions I made really made me stronger or is it that I choose to ignore the fact that I am broken and breaking soul!
I feel my whole world falling apart, not because I am lonely and not because I was wrong when I let my foot forward.
I am up for any witch-hunt if it is deserved, but a humble soul I am and I bet I am just lost. Songs of being found will be sung and a bull roasted. I shall come back home with nothing but a smile that is rich in charm and everything in between and I shall say to my frenemies “My efforts can’t be forgotten.”
I will look to all those I hurt and on one knee ask for forgiveness, my pride will flee and the fear to say sorry will be sorry I said sorry. That day will come, but for now, I will just lean back and sing a song to the sun, ‘please desert us no more in the mornings.’