the fresher

I was single for one month and in that very month, I almost died. Something dawned on me, I never have to be single ever again, so I set out on the trail of a serial player. Serial because I have more exes than the age of my granny or gramps, don’t refer me to Casanova. I am like a pirate, if you dare lease your heart to me, count it gone for a ransom price of a heart break of a life time and I like to receive everything first class, be it love or hatred, as even death will take me first class. Nothing really shatters my souls like seeing a girl trying a game that she has no skills for but fortunately matches through. I eagerly wait for the naked run every year, although I don’t physically participate, I optically visualize all the day’s activities, watching ladies running around nude, surely brings back childhood memories. I have to attend Joyce’s birthday and I surely need a ride so I can floss through, cant leave without a dozen of sure night contacts.


Jeez when is this semester closing, I can’t wait to meet Dorah in the club down street, heard she is a cassablanca freak, may be I will try a pass at her. Concentration is for next semester, I just have to get my game straight. I missed tones of this stuff while in high school, upholding school mottos like I am the principle. Living by the virginity and no seclusion rule like I am in a seminary, or even a convent, oh what a break. No curfew or after seven calls asking me where I am, life is smooth as it seems, wait a minute, am out of upkeep money. Let me call mum, dad is a die hard dude, perhaps he supports Spain and I bet he has fired half of his staff. Naye this world cup nedda, with alacrity, I supported Spain due to my father’s influence and he was even proud of showing me his mistresses, many they are. Men are fully maximizing this world cup time and my dad has taught me how.


Where are the john’s? am too proud to ask, I don’t want to be referred to as a fresher, with all this swag and calvin clein pantie, rather, a calvin klein scent. Unkempt hair and beard, call it an afro, bringing the 90’s fashion back to life. Willing to unman any lecturer who utters a word about it, you think the late president Obote was crazy… planning to ever give birth is really hard, with this government putting a tax on profits made by private schools. School dues are going to hike, how shall Ugandans live, and we even have a vision of an unemployment free Uganda, poverty relieved, most of this a vision of fiction. Education is losing meaning or becoming fun, the intricate UCU sex tape exposed the true natures of even the most strict universities in Uganda…


Who are those people they referred to as M-Pigs, that’s a lovely word especially to men like me who love the pork world. I suppose they referred to the yellow wing of the House, I mean Parliament. Youths are so practical and quick thinkers, they beat Parliamentary security making me wonder why many funds are wasted on police, the place has a full police station for goodness sake, I doubt the efficiency of the budget no wonder the M-Pigs simply took a nap as others were supposedly meditating eyes closed.

The fresher has really suffered, from making long lines at applications to praying for consideration to keeping the afro right. This is Uganda, For God and My country #daviskawalya


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