The news that facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg was to buy Whatsapp at a few billion dollars sparked the use of the service, even those many that hadn’t yet known about whatsapp’s presence looked for it in their browsers and downloaded the app. I have noticed that Uganda is rapidly growing in terms of internet use and gadget purchasing. One day as I walked down the street in town, I met a beggar who had a lovely phone, to my surprise, the guy was surfing at the same time begging, I guess he was looking for money to buy some mbs that could last him the night, so, I painfully gave him the little I had, putting in mind the Luganda saying “agabba aweebwa,” meaning, one who gives receives. Many sayings and quotes have greatly misled many, me inclusive… anyways that’s why they are many and uncoordinated, it all adds up.

Now back to my social media issue, Whatsapp is a lovely place to be especially when you know who you are chatting with, basically its meant for friends and family, not for friend wannabes, because unlike facebook, Whatsapp doest show mutual friends, multiple pictures, or even where the wannabe chap studied from. It only shows a status that one can change anytime they wish. This makes Whatsapp a lovely place to start stalking someone, because you can really know little about this stalkers, I have been stalked for the better part of the month that is probably ending today. Instead of thinking of the amount in my account, I am psychologically tortured by some stalker who calls himself Hobbz.


Hobbz, knows everything about me including my nickname, and my age, I personally don’t know my age, but this guy, he knows how old I am, he knows what I dream about, he knows my goals, my aspirations, my parents, the routes I use when going to work, my passwords, I even think he knows my thoughts, I will not be surprised if he tries to edit this my piece just so he can call himself “Hobbs.” So, I decided to change my Whatsapp number because I hate stalkers with a passion, one thing I was sure of is the fact that this guy must be a white from some movie I haven’t yet watched, trying to test his skills on Ugandans like me. The changing of my number triggered many questions, Hobbz was forced to ask me why I am avoiding him, so, I get interested in the guy, mind you, I am not gay, I was just interested in the way this guy does his thing.. so I furiously start asking him questions which he is glad to answer. I reach the part where I have to ask him where he got my number, the answer was devastating, it took me long to get it into my brains. Only questions he had answered came back to me, who is this guy anyways? Could it be Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolly, some unclaimed actor… kika?


As it happens, Hobbz wasn’t even male, he was a she, a female, trying to play with my brains. The methods he/she used to get my number were monetary. Hobbz bought a phone from a person who knew me, incidentally my number happened to remain among the contacts after formatting or manual deletion, so this human being who wasn’t told not to associate with strangers starts stalking me, so I returned the favor of stalking.

At some point I even thought I had committed a crime like treason, I thought that it was a matter of national security but nala, it was madness of one Uganda to another. Hobbz, pray God Uganda Cranes wins this match otherwise, am going to look for you and all posts on twitter will be like #returnHobbz #bringbackHobbz… all stalkers duly warned… xo


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